Different Languages…

Sometimes I think it’s a tragedy that two people merely think they’re speaking English to each other, but in reality, they’re not only talking past each other, but speaking completely different languages.

What?

Okay, I’m going to vastly oversimplify things here, but I’ve got another proposition. Engineering speak is not english. Neither is computer-geek speak. Neither is builder speak, physics-speak, contractor speak, architect speak, navy speak, or doctor speak.

Sure, the words sound like English. Some of them. At least until you hit that which we call “jargon” but is really your first clue you’ve left english as most people know it. Some of the words even share a similarity of meaning with their common origins.

An old joke to illustrate:

If you give the command “SECURE THE BUILDING”, here is what the different services would do:

The NAVY would turn out the lights and lock the doors.

The ARMY would surround the building with defensive fortifications, tanks and concertina wire.

The MARINE CORPS would assault the building, using overlapping fields of fire from all appropriate points on the perimeter.

The AIR FORCE would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy the building.

It’s hoary, and too-often told, but aside from what it illustrates about stereotypes of the various armed services, it also illustrates that while those services are using something resembling english, they have an entirely different set of assumptions and definitions for what appear to be the same sound symbols, when operating in a military context, than when using regular English.

Sure – look the word “secure” up in the dictionary, and you’ll see enough different definitions to support all of those interpretations. This allows us to walk away secure in the knowledge that we’re only speaking one language.

Of course, we are talking about the language that mugs other languages for spare grammar. Where Spanish, German, and French might use one word each to describe a range of nuances, based on context, English borrows a word from each of them, and uses each for a subtly different meaning.

It gets worse when you talk programming languages. Sure, the vocabulary is smaller, and the rules of grammar and syntax, while different for each, are fairly rigid and well defined. Yet, if you look at the actual words used – if, until, go, class, procedure, etc., they look like english. English with very formalized meanings.

A non-programmer looking at code from several languages like Ruby, Perl, Java, C, and Python might have a hard time telling that they’re even different languages. Well, except Python, which happens to be pretty visually distinctive. And yet, while the languages have many commonalities, the subtle differences in between them, and between these languages and other languages like Smalltalk and Haskell, result in completely different metaphors and methods for solving the same problem. Completely different ways of thinking about things, different models of thought.

Each language, each set of restrictions, each context, each set of grammatical and syntax rules, that tells us how to interpret and understand these symbols which often look alike, result in you having to think in a completely different way to solve a problem. In much the same way that the different grammar, structure, and conjugation rules for German, Spanish, and Lithuanian require you to approach speaking a simple statement in completely different ways.

Learning to be a carpenter involves not only learning words you may have never heard of that only apply to carpentry, but definitions of words, and terms of art, that may have completely different meanings from those outside of that context.

And learning those multiple contexts and the different patterns and assumptions and metaphors behind them make it easier to find solutions that people who’ve only seen one of those concepts may never have spotted. Programmers are often recommended to learn several languages, especially oddball ones with completely different idea structures like Haskell, because even if they never make a living programming in those languages, it will help them become better programmers and problem solvers.

The same is true of learning a new skill like carpentry, painting, hiking, skating, or shooting. It gives you a new language (even if it sounds like english) and a new set of thought-patterns and symbols.

Which brings me to another, final thought.

Most of these “languages” I’ve discussed here are still, in the end, subsets of English. But, while the lessons and tools they give you may be different, just like a ‘real’ foreign language, they give you a very similar experience in mapping a new set of mental tools.

But it really does confuse communication when two people think they’re talking “English” – and they’re not. At least not the same english.

Not Very Wise Support

Perhaps I’ve been living in a standards-compliant web-design bubble. I’ve always been aware that one had to design around and account for odd quirks in page design when making sure websites look just as good in Microsofts Internet Explorer as they do in Chrome, Firefox, and Safari. I’ve even run across a few business banking sites that absolutely require Internet Explorer in order to manage the add-ons and check scanners.

That said, I think today is the first time I’ve ever seen a customer support site, even for a windows-centric product, that not only “required” Internet Explorer, but was utterly and completely unusable in any context without it. Unusable as in you could not even look up knoedge base and support articles.

Lest you think I’m kidding, check out the support FAQ page for the customer support portal for sage software. Under the question “What are the supported internet browsers for the Sage Customer Portal?”:

 

Internet Explorer is the supported internet browser for use with the Sage Customer Portal.
If you use Firefox, Chrome or other browsers and encounter issues, we recommend using Internet Explorer instead.
If you use Internet Explorer 8 or 9, click the Compatibility View button  to the right of the address bar to avoid potential issues. To permanently enable Compatibility View for the Sage Customer Portal, go to Tools > Compatibility View Settings and click [Add].
First of all, there’s several possible meanings for “we don’t support other browsers.” One is “We don’t guarantee that you will see everything on the page, or everything the way we intended it to work.” The other extreme is “nothing on the page works.” The latter is something you get on specialized banking sites incorporating direct check deposit scanning through activeX extensions, and the like.
It’s not something I expect on a customer support page. I’ll grant that not all of their products have inaccessible support pages. The pages for their Act! customer relations management product work fine in other browsers. 
I also understand that the information in the support portal is tied to the products you’ve purchased from them, but this is also not a new problem for dozens of internet companies providing cloud-based services. I can even, understand restricting access to isntaller downloads and knowledge base articles to paying customers – Sage is hardly the only software vendor to do so.
But the only thing seen in Firefox, Safari, or Chrome, is a failed plugin message.
Making access to documentation and troubleshooting information completely unavailable in any other browser is completely unacceptable. 
Not bothering to update your site to be compatible with the last three versions of internet explorer, including versions nearly four years old, is icing on the cake.